Author Topic: Unplanned shorts. [2-5 Minute reads]  (Read 751 times)

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Offline Phoenix

Unplanned shorts. [2-5 Minute reads]
« on: July 01, 2020, 09:00:14 PM »
   A series of short insights into some internal struggles told through the eyes of the ‘Phoenix Chronicle’s characters.
   Some will be happier events, some dark as the characters try and find their way through their school life.
   Each character has their own issues throughout their stories, and react differently throughout the series. It’s been a struggle to create and remember each personality as there are so many, but exercises like this help me to keep a track of where everyone is at. Hopefully that makes sense.  :yawn:
   Lastly, before I ramble slightly, it wasn't intentional that the title of the first piece made it's way into the entry, but I figured with the second. What the heck right? Will likely be this thread's unique 'thing'.




Each entry is short, and are intended to be just give an idea of how everyone is feeling at different points. At most, they'll take around 2-5 minutes to read, so are brief. They are also rather powerful, so I could really use some feedback where possible.



Note:
   I won’t disclose which entry is from each character in the Chronicles, as most will be spoilers from stories that are somewhat planned out inside my head but just haven’t been written out yet.
   This is a passion project so to speak, for a little while at least I’m going to try and post an entry up a day (with 34 characters it should ease myself into writing again if I'm writing something every day for over a month- but some insights may be from the same person, who knows right now).
   Bare in mind, some of these emotions are ones that I have felt or are feeling, so may or may not make sense as I’m posting them up but I’m trying to piece them in my own head as I'm going through it all.


Entries:

'Take a deep breath, and close your eyes.'
‘Listening to your heart isn’t always as simple as it seems.’
'A fresh start, how hard could it be?'
'Another full day of fun.'
'Memories are a funny thing.'
'The hole inside my heart isn’t shrinking.'
'How could I have done this?'
'Loyalty and honesty are so important.'
'Fight for what you believe in.'
''Pretending isn’t as easy as it first appears.'
'Learning to fly.'





« Last Edit: July 11, 2020, 11:23:49 PM by Phoenix »


 

Offline Phoenix

‘Take a deep breath, and close your eyes.’
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2020, 09:01:03 PM »
   They said it would get easier, be easier to concentrate-to deal with all these emotions but it’s not. I feel as if I’m sinking deeper into a deep, dark void which sucked the joy out of the world-my world,  before I even realised that it was happening.
   Now, this suffocating, pit of nothing is dragging me further under. To where I can’t see anything and I have no idea at all how I’m going to get out.
   I wish that I was braver, so that I could just dive, at least to stop myself from sinking. Then I could finally feel the ground underneath my feet again, and know that I could finally form a plan in my head to find my way out. But-like my ability to sink, I found that I couldn’t bring myself to let myself slip further without trying to frantically clamber out from the ever growing emptiness around me.

   The darkness, is so cold. In my head I can picture all the times where I was happy, and for a flicker-a fleeting moment I watch and desperately try to cling to the hope that maybe everything will be okay again. Where things would go back to some sort of normality where it isn’t all bad news, upheavals and heartache.
   The memories play, so briefly and quietly inside my head. In a strange way I begin to piece myself into their world, where I watched the happier times with my own two eyes. But I know deep down that it will never happen, and-just as they splutter and fade into nothing once more, I’m reminded that they were all in the past.
  I take a deep breath, and close my eyes. Maybe when I open them, I’ll find I’m no longer alone.

Offline Phoenix

‘Listening to your heart isn’t always as simple as it seems.’
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2020, 10:48:36 PM »
   For the past few days I have been battling with a war inside my head. One that I never imagined that I would ever have to face, as I never expected anything like this to happen. It seems so cliché, so obvious to say so, and yet it still holds true.
   As teenagers, we’re expected to test boundaries, defy authority and create an image for ourselves as we create our sense of individuality. We’re sucked into peer pressure, but also at an age to finally think for ourselves-meaning the decisions we make have consequences whether we like them or not.
   And now, just when I thought I was beginning to figure things out-where I thought that I was beginning to understand where I stood in the world, and with my friends everything has changed.

   The straightforward, simplistic structure in my head that I thought had mapped everything out is now all gone. Now, when I look at all of my family and especially the people I thought I could trust, it’s all a mess. Everything has done a complete one-eighty, and nothing makes sense any more.
   I initially thought doing the right thing would be easy, that it was an obvious choice to defy them and stick by someone I cared about. The longer the words swam around in my head though, the longer they ate at my conscience, the harder it became.
   Eventually, I realised that listening to your heart isn’t as simple as it seems. That sometimes the obvious and right thing to do, is often the hardest thing, especially when it feels as though you’re backed into a corner with no way of escaping.

   As soon as I saw him, I was so weak and fed up with being torn apart inside that I had no energy to fend off the monster any longer. The evil reared it’s head within seconds and forced me to one side inside my head, where I no longer had a voice. I could only watch on, as the part of me that had up until that point, been successful in defending the right choice, was left to watch on in horror.
The decision was made, and it was the wrong one.
   I heard the words escaping my lips and grimaced as I tasted the hatred in my mouth. They were all full of spite and menace, which was meant for myself, and not the caring and amazing friend in front of me. But, before I knew it, the damage was done.

Offline Phoenix

A fresh start, how hard could it be?
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2020, 10:19:31 PM »
   When I first started school, I thought that fitting in would be easy, especially when I realised that I had a lot in common with a few of the other new starters in my first year. It didn’t take long for me to realise though, that because I had missed out on the first few days of term as I was off ill, that they had already formed their own groups of friends. And unfortunately for me, they seemed to refuse to let anyone else speak to them, who wasn’t a part of their little ‘click’ already.
   In the end I ended up opting to show my talents and interests off in school wherever I could, by carrying around a notebook in my bag specifically to show them off. Within the first week of term, various pages were covered in favourite band names, musical instruments and lyrics. Where there were blank spaces, I tried my best to use different materials to fill white areas, and line art which helped to link the different aspects of the pages together.
   I knew from a young age that I loved anything creative; drawing, writing and singing were the three main things that I loved doing when I was at home. And so it was easy to show off the things that filled my time with joy-at least to start with.

   It didn’t take long for the criticism to rear it’s head, and for my confidence to slowly chip away. The more it did so, the more I found that the faintest chance that I would be able to speak to the people in my class, let alone any of the other students in the school was fading.
   And, even though the art work that I was creating was some of the best that I had ever done, as I wanted to really show what I could do, the more I found that people paid more attention to the words than the amount of effort that I was putting in.
   In the end, it made me question why I enjoyed listening to the artists anyway? Especially when it was clear that no one else that I knew did.

  During the years my voice became something that only a select number of people heard aloud, which made communicating when I was called out to answer questions in class awkward as the bullying that I didn’t have the courage to speak out about became more and more of an issue.
   In the end, the only solution that my parents could think of would be to move away, and try and give everyone an attempt to wipe the slate clean.
   ‘A fresh start, how hard could it be?’ I thought to myself- at least, at the beginning. As the months drew on, I realised that it wouldn’t be as easy as I had first thought. I wasn’t just moving schools, we were also moving to a completely new town, where none of us knew anyone.

Offline Phoenix

Another full day of fun.
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2020, 11:32:46 PM »
   There’s a view from my window, which I often daydream over as I look outside. If you block out the boring bottom part, which is filled with other people’s houses and back gardens, you will find your eyes drawn to a hill-and a lonely bench sitting upon it.
   In the early morning, and evening, it catches the suns rays as they appear and gradually sink behind out of view. And, as it does so, it shows off a rainbow of colours which cover the sky in a glorious shower of beauty.
   It’s during this peaceful period, where everything is still waking up to another day, or winding down as one is ending, that I make it a priority to sit down for five minutes or so and watch.

   The time always passes quicker than I realise though, especially when I place music on in the background to listen to.
   First thing in the morning, I watch in silence as the minutes pass, and I begin to notice a pattern for some of the people that I see going about their every day lives. From my window, it’s too small to make out finer details, but there are a couple that run together first thing in the morning. Not long after, an adult and a pushchair makes their way up the hill, and for a short while sits on the bench and waits just like me.
   When the weathers nice, the parent removes a little blob, and places them on the soft grass in front of them. And I start to wonder about all the adventures the little child is imagining in their head as they explore the world around them, and try to picture what the rest of their little family is like.
   Are they artistic? Smart? What are they passionate about? Will I ever know if it’s them if I meet them on the street?

   After a short while they carry on their walk up and out of sight, and as soon as they do the town in front of me seems to hurry and rush around all at once.
   Front doors are slammed, engines are revved up and cars can be seen moving around the houses as parents and children busy themselves to go to work and school. And it’s then that I pull myself away, and ready myself for another full day of fun and potentially repeated lessons with the same students and friends I’ve had for years. Still when the corridors are packed between the different classes, I smile inside a little and remember that at least for a brief while in the morning, that time was my own alone.

Offline Phoenix

Memories are a funny thing.
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2020, 11:33:43 PM »
   When I was young, I joined an after school group, which included mixed bunch of children aged between six and ten years of age. The main goal was partly to be able to socialise before we moved on past primary into secondary school, but was also to encourage ‘gifts’ and interests so talents were nurtured.
   I, myself, enjoyed the science activities that they had on offer. Especially as they managed to rope in science teachers to take part, who worked alongside parents who actually made careers out of the subject.
   During the term time, many new children were introduced into the programme, and quite a few of them stayed. So it wasn’t a surprise when a family showed up one day, completely out of the blue, half way through one of the sessions.

   The doors swung open, showing off the dark grey clouds, and the rain that everyone had been trying to keep out up until that point. After only a few moments, a tall and powerful looking man stepped through into the light, then motioned for someone else to follow. He stood with his back to the wall, as he lowered the hood of his coat, revealing his surprisingly light blonde hair as he did so.
   Even though it was completely normal for people to show up, I found that I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and I began to wonder who would be joining us from that point forward.
   My attention was so transfixed on the door, that I didn’t even notice that someone beside me was trying to ask me a question-until they nudged my arm.

   When I turned back to the door a young girl, the same age as myself, was ruffling her dad’s hair as he bent down to give her a hug. From first appearances they were clearly close, and shared the same sense of humour, but she was also very shy.
   As soon as she had said goodbye, her hands slid into the pockets of her raincoat, and her head lowered until she was looking towards the floor.
   I made my way over slowly, and showed her where to put her belongings. It took her a while to properly open up, even though she came to nearly all the sessions during that term. We spent most of the time reading through all the educational magazines that they had, and laughing over all the parts that we didn’t understand.
   We became incredibly close, especially in such a short space of time, and so it completely threw me when she stopped coming.
   It didn’t take long to find out that she had moved to a different town, which would make it hard for her father to drop her off from then on.
   I never had the chance to tell her that I liked her, I was so scared that she would think that I was strange to say so unprompted and so I kept it to myself. She was the first girl that I ever became friends with, and for a long time afterwards I barely spoke about her. It wasn’t because I was upset with her for not being there, but because I wanted our friendship and memories to be purely ours.

   Almost six years later, I turned up for the first day of secondary school. As soon as I stepped through the doors of the canteen, where all the year sevens were asked to go, I immediately caught a glimpse of a familiar face. Her laughter hadn’t changed, and she still had the same joyful gleam in her eyes that I remembered.
   The main difference that I did notice though, was that she was no longer alone. Surrounding her, was a small group, practically hanging on every word that she said as she recalled something from her past.
   I looked on nervously for a moment, and sighed as doubt started to creep in as I began to doubt if she would even want to talk to me when I had no idea how much she had changed. Memories are a funny thing.

Offline Phoenix

'The hole inside my heart isn’t shrinking.'
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2020, 09:03:26 PM »
   The hole inside my heart isn’t shrinking, and I’m becoming afraid that it will never fill. It’s been years since we lost her, where our family became internally broken, but our parents were too ashamed to admit the pain was too much.
   Walking around my house now, it’s as though she never existed. All the photos were buried shortly after the funeral, and her belongings were boxed away whilst we were at school. Everything she owned, everything she loved-everything she was in was pushed to one side in the space of a couple of days and it made the whole thing so much harder.
   When her bedroom was completely cleared out, I thought that would be it. That my mum and dad were finally done with moving on, but I was wrong.

   One day, when I was alone with my uncle, he led me up into the attic. I sat down on the floor and watched as he dragged a single large cardboard box out from the shadows, and sighed as he joined me on the hardwood floor.
   In silence, he watched as I opened the flaps on the top, and as I gasped when I peered inside. Sitting right on top of everything else, was the large family photograph that we had only taken a few months before. Which, up until a week beforehand, had been hanging up proudly just as you stepped through the front door.
   After pulling a few more items out of the box, I found the sterling silver necklace that she used to wear buried and tangled with her other belongings that I then wasn’t sure if I’d ever see again.
   Patiently, my uncle helped me undo all the knots and salvage the little star as I started crying over the whole situation. It was so surreal, and so unfair to even wonder where everything else had disappeared to, and so I didn’t ask.

   Instead, I slid the necklace around my neck, and have worn it every single day since. The little chain has broken multiple times since, in the end I ended up replacing it with a new one, but even now the pendant remains.

Offline Phoenix

How could I have done this?
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2020, 11:17:59 PM »
   I never wanted to come between them, but my selfish side wanted to be a damage something even though it wasn’t mine. I was hurt, and frustrated. More than I ever had been before, which scared me more than I could say.
   I didn’t know what else to do, I mean what else could I do?

   As soon as I vented, at someone that was completely innocent no less, I felt beyond horrible. In my heart I knew my actions would come back to bite me, but I never expected it to send daggers into my conscience the way it did when my brother screamed at me.
   His eyes were filled with pain and hatred that, even though they were weak from exhaustion, dug into my soul to the point I doubted if I would ever forget the sight.
   It was a wake up call, one that I could never afford to repeat.

   The damage that I had caused, had not only damaged my relationship with him, but also with someone that he cared deeply for. And unsurprisingly, the anger upon his face showed just how much he wanted to come over and hit me in retaliation.
   Unlike me however, he controlled his temper long enough to fight off the urge and just shouted instead.

   How could I have done this? How did my family mean so little to myself, when they needed me the most?
   How am I supposed to fix this?

Offline Angel

Re: Unplanned shorts. [2-5 Minute reads]
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2020, 09:29:53 PM »
Ayy I've finally managed to catch up on these. Some really interesting snippets here Pho. And really showing a diverse range of emotion and experience. Keep it up :D

Enter Helena's world of light.
 :onfire:
 

Offline Phoenix

'Loyalty and honesty are so important.'
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2020, 10:39:12 PM »
   Protecting my family has always been the most important thing for me to do. And now, more than ever it holds true. More often than not nowadays, it’s my friends who have needed me to stand by their side though, one more so than the others.
   He’s the type of person who, like me, prefers to hide how events and problems affect his life. And so most of the time nobody really realises there’s a problem until it has either been resolved, or where he starts to really struggle with everything.
   He understands that everybody has their own lives to live, and doesn’t want to burden someone with what’s going on when there’s a strong chance that he can deal with it on his own. Mind you, it has led to some complications in the past, because he doesn’t like to share.

   One occasion, caused a major rift between him and someone else who-up until that point, I regularly spoke to. I thought that we were quite good friends, but I was wrong.
   One day, at school a fight broke out in the canteen. Me and my best friend stepped inside and gasped aloud at the sight, and we then rushed over to a young year seven being cornered by a group of teenagers clearly older.
   We immediately stood between the two sides causing all of the commotion, to find that the ring leader of the group was non other than my supposed friend. The same person who-over the space of that year, eventually became the school bully.
   What erupted after was a series of insults, mostly aimed at the two of us, from someone I had trusted. I learnt that day that loyalty and honesty are so important, as the person who stuck by me every step of the way that day was the same one standing beside me, and not the person I thought I knew.

Offline Phoenix

Re: Unplanned shorts. [2-5 Minute reads]
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2020, 10:43:07 PM »
Thanks Angel!  :lovedance:
It means a lot that you were able to come on here and share some love. I know it's kind of an odd thread right now, mostly because work and everything else has (up until now) sucked the life out of everything. I'm only really now trying to make the time to do things like this every night.

A side note, two of the current entries are from the same person. I'm not saying which ones though.  :pointandlaugh:
Probably two you wouldn't expect though.

Offline Phoenix

'Fight for what you believe in.'
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2020, 07:20:27 PM »
   At home I’m expected to be the perfect child- the one who obeys my parents without question, even though I strongly disagree with almost everything they say.
   Me and my sister were raised in a specific and strict way, where our opinions didn’t matter, only our elders did. And, even though countless times they were proved wrong over a situation that could have easily been avoided, they still stuck to their beliefs. Adamant that they were right all along, which they weren’t.
   One occasion only a year ago, my birthday was fast approaching. I spoke with my parents, with other people in the room as I did so, about having a couple of friends over during the afternoon so that we could sit down in the nice weather outside. They agreed, and set about making plans for the day, for what I thought was what we had all agreed upon.

   On the day though, I found out rather early in the morning, that they had arranged to go and see a long lost family member. One that I had seen only once before when I was very young, and who I barely remembered as a result. It was during the discussion with them, that they had made the day a family day instead, where it was likely that we weren’t going to be home much before the early evening.
   As I listened to the new plans, which I hadn’t been apart of, I recoiled with frustration and a full blown argument followed. But, as usual, I had wasn’t given any other option than to go along and put a smile on my face. Even though it was clearly not what I wanted at all, and deep down they knew it.
   In all the turmoil and late notice, I ended up going without being able to tell my friends that I was being dragged out for the day. And so, they appeared at my house, gifts in hand, at the time they agreed with, to find that nobody was in.

   I later found out that day, that my dad actually ‘planned ahead’ for me, and left instructions for them to leave the presents that they brought along to be left in a sheltered spot in our back garden. And, after an uncomfortable day of pretending that I was enjoying myself when I wasn’t, it was a bitter sweet sight to see a number of brightly wrapped items brought in by him instead of the people I had been hoping to see that day instead.
   Even though my friends understood what had happened, it didn’t ease the fact that I resented them. It made me realise that it didn’t really matter to them what I wanted, and that sometimes it’s better if you just fight for what you believe in.

Offline Phoenix

'Pretending isn’t as easy as it first appears.'
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2020, 11:08:39 PM »
   I used to enjoy spending time with my friends and family. We were a close knit group, who went on regular days out. And, as an active group, it was strange for us to stay home on the weekends. Which was normal for us all for well over ten years.
   Unfortunately, due to my mothers’ work, we were forced to move far away from everything to a town only a stone throw away from the beach. Though it was easy to still get exercise, it was also strange and didn’t take long for both my father and I to lose interest. Which grew on my mum’s limited patience as a result.

   As a young teenager, I eventually grew up to resent her as I didn’t agree with anything that she said. The annoying thing was, even though I started off defending my actions, I gradually pacified myself and settled for battling internally as it was far less effort and hassle.
   It certainly wasn’t as if I wanted to do so mind, in fact most of the time a lot of the people I spoke to didn’t understand her methods or agree with her, but-like me, they realised the battle was simply not worth it in the end.

   One of the choices that I grew to resent her over, was over my hair and choice of clothes. As a child that wasn’t given any option, it was beyond frustrating when all I wanted to do was to buy things that I actually liked.
   As a treat one year, my dad actually took me out shopping and asked me what I wanted to wear. He told me not to worry about what mum would say as he was on my side over the whole thing and felt that it was unfair for her views to be pushed onto me the way they were.
   We made a day out of it in the end, and I picked out several outfits, which I thought would be acceptable. As we stepped through the front door of our home though, we were greeted by my mum who had a stern expression seemingly plastered on her face, who had her arms folded across her chest.
   After only a few minutes of coming home, my father quickly realised that his words meant nothing to her any more. Instead, they were washed over so fast he lost track of what he was saying several times as he failed repeatedly to get his point across. Though it didn’t take long for him to give up, forcing me to surrender the bags that I was hoping to keep and take upstairs.
   The clothes and shoes which had been carefully folded and put away inside them, every inch of the fabric and items were strictly scrutinised over. Not that it mattered, none of what I had chosen was deemed good enough to keep.
   Sure enough, the very next day it was all returned, and exchanged for things that were then thrown in the back of my cupboard and are still there now from what I remember.

   Since then, I’ve learnt that sometimes it’s just easier to go along for the ride. To go along with what some people are saying just to avoid arguments, even though pretending isn’t as easy as it first appears.

Offline Saint

Re: Unplanned shorts. [2-5 Minute reads]
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2020, 09:16:56 AM »
Had a read through these finally.  I do like the vague and cryptic portrayal of the characters.  Particularly enjoyed the 'Another Day Full of Fun' piece.
:owlfly1:

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Don't want to play DnD? That's fine too, here's a short set in the world instead: A Tale of The Darkest Tome
How about helping me build a world From the Ground Up?
 

Offline Phoenix

'Learning to fly.'
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2020, 11:22:43 PM »
   If I were a superhero, what would my powers be?
   Would I be invisible? Able to hide and sneak into the movies undetected? Be able to skip school or get out of trouble whenever I needed to?
   Would I be strong? Able to pick up any object, no matter what the weight of it was, with ease?
   I could be psychic, or be able to control certain elements. I could even teleport around, or merge through walls if I wanted.

   The problem with most of them, is that if you were planning to hide your ability, some would be harder to hide than others. Personally, for me, I would merge two together; being able to fly, and be able to lift items normal people wouldn’t. Not strong enough to pick up any item, but enough to save people if it was needed.
   By combining those two, I wouldn’t be overpowered or greedy. Some would love to have any number, choosing to be the ‘ultimate’ superhero, but as an introvert I just couldn’t do that.
   Instead, I have always thought to myself that it would be easier and better to just control one or two things instead of having a scattering of everything that I could think of at that particular time.

   Learning to fly has always been my dream. I love the cold breeze, and as I look up to the sky all I can see is a wide open space, almost endless filled with freedom. Which, at home I rarely get to myself.
   The atmosphere just seems so peaceful and calm, and a complete contrast to everything on earth that I’m used to.
   It’s just a shame that superheroes, and powers are just something out of a fantasy tale.

Offline Phoenix

Re: Unplanned shorts. [2-5 Minute reads]
« Reply #15 on: July 16, 2020, 10:50:35 PM »
Have two more entries to put up, which I'll do tomorrow after I'm back home from work. Hopefully I'll be able to catch up too, currently three days behind.

And thanks Saint!  :thanks: I actually thought that one was one of the weaker ones so far, I had a vague idea in my head for it and to me I didn't quite pull it off as I was writing it. Glad you're enjoying them though!  :thumb:

Offline Phoenix

Re: Unplanned shorts. [2-5 Minute reads]
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2020, 08:09:52 PM »
Has anyone else had a chance to catch up on the entries above? I don't want to swamp it and put people off. :shrug: