Poll

I just want to get into a girls school...

My daughter goes here.  I should be allowed in.
0 (0%)
I'm a wealthy, potential, investor, I should have a tour.
1 (33.3%)
I'm taking a survey... (ideas for survey welcome)
1 (33.3%)
Charge in crazy, crazy should come to crazy after all
1 (33.3%)

Total Members Voted: 3

Author Topic: The Other One.  (Read 224 times)

Description: Prologue.

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Offline newchinaren

The Other One.
« on: June 02, 2019, 09:45:24 PM »
Warning!  Adult content in this story.  Probably.

---->

Prologue.

“So boooring,” Mike said to himself, as he wandered down the chocolate aisle.  That was the problem with working night-shift at a re-fuelling station in the middle of nowhere. 

The road outside had been devoid of any traffic for at least an hour, and he'd not had a customer for at least two.

“Booring,” he repeated.  Then.  “Hello.”  A car had just pulled up outside.  A large, black, expensive SUV.  Not your run of the mill vehicle. 

He scampered back behind the counter and waited, curious to see who the driver was.

After about two minutes he frowned.  The doors remained firmly closed, and it hadn't moved.  He was considering going out to see if they realised the station was self service when, finally, someone stepped out.

Mike's jaw dropped.

The woman, and she was all woman, who exited the vehicle was drop dead, smoking super-model hot.  She was wearing a long black coat, cut off at the arms.  As she walked, it blew open slightly.  He wasn't totally sure, but it really looked like she wasn't wearing anything underneath.

The doorbell rang as the goddess pushed the door open.

“Hel...”  Mike's voice cracked. “Hello there,” he managed to finally get out.  “How can I service... be of service to you today... tonight.”

The woman just smiled and played with her long blonde hair as she strode closer, her black, high heeled boots clicking on the tiles of the shop.  Mike swallowed.

Finally she stood before him on the other side of the counter.  Slowly, and with the smile of the devil herself, she leaned forward, giving Mike a gobsmacking view down her top.

She wasn't wearing anything underneath.

“Hello,” she said.  Her voice was like the purr of a cat.

“H...h...hi,” he managed to get out in reply.

“Would you do me a favour?” she asked.

“Sure.”

“Open the register and give me all the money.”  She smiled widely.

“What?”

“Please?”

”I... I'm sorry miss, I can't...” he stopped.  The woman had pulled a enormous gun from somewhere and was now pressing the barrel against his forehead.

“Please?” she asked again.

“S...sure.”  Mike, to his everlasting shame, pissed himself.

“Go on then,” she said, pushing his head back with the gun.

Urine leaking down his leg, Mike, hands trembling, moved over to the register.  He was just about to open it when he became aware of the reflection of a flashing blue light coming from outside.

“Oh cunt.”  His customer snarled as she saw the cop car screech to a halt outside, disgorging police as it did so.  She whirled back to Mike.  “I didn't tell you to stop!”

Mike gulped and pressed the button to open the till.

“You, in the shop!”  The male voice shouted through a megaphone.  “Come out with...”

What she should come out with was left unknown, as the woman opened fire, blasting away and shattering the glass at the front of the shop.  The coppers outside dived for cover, just as another two cars and a van pulled up.  Mike ducked down behind the counter and started to scuttle away, only for his progress to stop abruptly as something grabbed his leg.

“You!  Where are you going?”

Mike rolled over onto his back and looked up.  The woman's eyes were, terrifyingly, glowing a dull red, and her arms seem to have swelled, showing muscles a body builder would be proud of.  The coat seemed to be struggling to contain her.

“Put down the gun and come out!” came another megaphoned warning from outside.

“Come and get me copper” she shouted back, loosing off another volley of shots.  At the same time she pulled Mike along the floor, apparently with no effort.

“Last chan...” the police officers' message was cut short by another fusillade.  The gun had to be some kind of semi-automatic weapon.

This time a barrage of shots replied, blowing chunks out of the counter and the rear of the shop.  Mike covered his face with his arms and screamed like a bitch, but the woman, if that's what she was, simply threw back her head with maniacal laughter. 

“Is that the best you've got pigs?” she screamed, as bullets slammed into the wall all around her.  “Here, try one of these!”  She pulled something out of her pocket, did something with it and threw it towards the massed police.

There was a short lull in shooting, followed by a massive explosion. Mike, having already emptied his bladder, now voided his bowels, as his place of employment turned into a fiery scene from hell. 

The woman howled with laughter again, barely audible now against the backdrop of explosions and screams from outside, and loosed off even more shots before turning her attention to the till, which had been blown open in the exchange.  She scooped up a handful of bills and turned her attention to Mike.  Reaching down, she pulled him up with one burly hand.

Her face was now more demonic than beautiful.  Eyes glowed red, her hair was now black, and seemed to move around in a snake-like manner of its own accord.  As she opened her mouth, he saw her teeth had become sharpened spikes. 

“Mummy!” he exclaimed as he was pulled close.

“You,” she hissed, “you are cute.”  An impossibly long, narrow tongue slipped out of her mouth and, slowly, licked his face from chin to hairline. 

As another giant explosion shook the ground beneath them, she smiled.  “I've enjoyed our date.  I think you'll be seeing me again.”

So saying she leaned forward and kissed Mike.  Despite everything, the kiss literally took his breath  away.  A feeling of nirvana swept through his body.  His legs, already weak, gave way, and he would have collapsed had she not held him up. 

Their encounter was interrupted by the arrival of more police. 

“Later lover.”  Suddenly she was the super hot babe from before again.

Then Mike was on the floor, unable to move despite the glow of flames getting closer.

When he recovered enough to move the woman was gone.

“She didn't even tell me her name,” he croaked, and passed out.


---

So, this is kind of a prologue, and doesn't really have a suggestion phase in the traditional sense, but I'd like (feedback and) comments on what Mike does next.  How has this affected him?  Etc.


Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline Angel

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2019, 11:32:59 PM »
Well this is certainly a welcome arrival! There's a lot to like here. I get the sense that this is something that will stick with him. He's thinking about it constantly and potentially starts seeing this she-devil everywhere. Whether it's actually her or his traumatised mind, I suppose that that's up for interpretation.

Enter Helena's world of light.
 :onfire:
 

Offline newchinaren

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2019, 06:17:38 PM »
Mmm, food for thought.  Thanks Angey.  I've not written anything for the last few days as been a bit busy, but will add more soon.
Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline newchinaren

The Other One. Part II - Wake.
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2019, 03:56:02 PM »
    Mike woke up trembling.  This wasn't news to him of course.  It had been a week now, and people were only just beginning to leave him alone.  The cops, having lost the woman, had followed their standard protocol and arrested anyone nearby, regardless of evidence and circumstance.  Of course, that had meant Mike in this case, as he was the only civilian available.

    He'd been dragged, beaten, partly burned and bloody as he was, in handcuffs, to the station and subject to a barrage of questions from a series of angry coppers.

    Possibly because he was still stunned from the whole incident he'd simply refused to answer any questions at all, much to their growing anger.  If his brief hadn't turned up when she did, it was likely he'd have 'fallen down some stairs'.  As it was, he'd been advised to shut up, not a problem, whilst she had stern words with the authorities. 

    A short time later he'd been unceremoniously ejected from the station and allowed to wander home, a period of time he couldn't remember.  The ordeal wasn't over though.  The whole thing had been caught on the stores' CCTV, which was leaked online, and it had become an overnight sensation.  The woman was now number one on the wanted list of just about everyone, from the law to news stations to every single person on social media.

    Despite all the infamy, the woman remained at large.  The same couldn't be said for Mike though, and he'd had buy a new phone and crash at a friends', currently unused, bachelor pad.   He'd very quickly given up going online.

    Of course, the police had interviewed him several more times.  He'd stuck to his story, which was the truth, now backed up by the CCTV footage, and they'd eventually left him alone, though not before a series of very specific threats. 

    Several reporters had tracked him down as well, but he'd managed, with some difficulty to avoid them.

    So now he lay on his bed and quivered. Finally alone. 

    And despite everything, all he could think about was
her

She'd destroyed his life, and his workplace, caused him a great deal of pain and suffering, and yet all he could think about was the kiss!  He had to see her again!  It was crazy he knew, but she was like a drug, and he was addicted, and addicted hard. 

He made a decision.  Pulling himself up, he swung his legs over the side of the bed.  He would see her again.  He didn't know how, considering she'd vanished off the face of the earth - the cops had run into a dead end – no fingerprints, no trace from the weapons, nothing from the public - but he knew he would see her again.

But where to start looking?


---
So, obvious question here then, where does he start?  All suggestions, obvious and otherwise, welcome!

Thank you for reading, and contributing.
[/list]
Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline NicTei

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2019, 08:40:36 PM »
Hm, I'd say he starts looking at the seediest place he can think of, where shady people are likely to gather. Maybe a bar with a bad reputation in a part of town with a bad reputation? :shrug:

:pumpkin:
:pumpkin:


Me Am Robot     |     Night Terrors     |     Sailing the Seven Skies     |     The Old Gods     |     Vagabond
 

Offline newchinaren

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2019, 06:52:00 AM »
This is exactly the sort of excellent suggestion you are renowned for* Nice! 

I'll give it some more days before polling (I've had some suggestions from elsewhere too), plus been a bit busier than expected, plus my internet connection is arse.  I wrote the above chapter in Macs, where I am now actually.  Also I'm reviewing a story that I nearly finished before, having finally got hold of some of my old files. The Lord of All, anyone remember that one?




*As well as all the other unspeakable things.
Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline Angel

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2019, 03:10:39 PM »
Oh yes i do remember that one!

So i'm going to counter Nic's offering with this: he considers going to the seedy spots but thinks it's too obvious so he goes looking for places of purity and innocence that are showing signs of corruption and The Taint of Evil. Again, wether they actually are showing these signs it up for debate. Maybe he's just seeing shit where it ain't.

Enter Helena's world of light.
 :onfire:
 

Offline newchinaren

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #7 on: June 17, 2019, 11:20:59 AM »
Right then, thank you all for the ideas.  Inspiring as always. 

So, poll is up with suggestions from here and another site that won't be named.  Vote away!

Please.
Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline newchinaren

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #8 on: June 21, 2019, 08:57:25 PM »
OKay then.
Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline newchinaren

The Other One. Part III
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2019, 09:10:18 PM »
Slightly unsteadily, it had been a day or two since he’d eaten, Mike climbed to his feet and padded, barefoot, over to his laptop.  Turning it on he studiously avoided checking his email, or any of his social media accounts. 

In fact, he stopped typing as a thought struck.  In fact, why go on the regular web at all?  He wasn’t much of a techy, but some months previously a friend of his had installed a browser, a window he’d called it, to the dark web. 

Mike had looked, as had everyone else, all over the internet for the girl and had drawn a blank.  Maybe he would have better luck on the supposedly seedier side of the interwebs. 

Digging out the ‘readme’ file his friend had set up for him, he followed the instructions within, and soon found himself on a bulletin board, which looked rather similar to the  boards he’d been on previously, except this one had sections for drugs and, well, other things.

He scrolled down, browsing around for a while, until he found a thread started by someone called Mr. Fixit.  Apparently Mr. Fixit could arrange any number of things, from hard to get substances to even harder to get human merchandise and, most importantly from Mike’s point of view: information.

He followed the instructions at the top of the thread and sent a brief message to Mr. Fixit, telling him he wanted to find the Gas Station Killer Babe, as some people were calling her.

The task done, he leaned back, wondering if he should eat something.  No doubt it would be a day or so…

The screen pinged, and a request for a chat box popped up.  It was from Mr. Fixit.

Mike hesitated only a moment.  He’d dug himself in this far after all.  He clicked on ‘accept’.

‘Hello’ he typed.

‘I’ve seen your request.  Why do you want to find her?’  came the reply.

Mike paused, slightly concerned about giving his identity away, but then everyone knew of him anyway, so it wasn’t like this was really an issue.

‘I’m the’  he paused, then sighed and carried on typing.  ‘Gas Station Chicken Bitch’ he finished.  He also had several other nicknames now, and this was probably the best of the bunch.

‘Really?’

‘Really.’

‘Let’s video chat then, if that’s true.  You could be someone just saying that.’

Again, Mike paused only a moment.  In for a penny…

He clicked accept again on the new box that popped up.  This time it was a video stream, although Mr. Fixit could only be seen as a silhouette.  Understandable enough.

“Well, it really is you!”  Even his voice was disguised, coming across the net as a rough, dalek sound.

“Yes.”

“So you want to find your girlfriend then.”

“Yes, can you do anything?”

“Why haven’t you tried a regular PI?” Fixit asked.

“I figured, with the reward, they would have already looked.  I thought, perhaps, you might be different.”

“Hahaha,”  The laughter, through the synth, came out as flat and dead.  “I may be on the dark side, but I’m still just a person,” came the reply.

“So you can’t help?”  Mike slumped.

“Hold on, hold on, I didn’t say that did I?”

“Really?”

“I don’t know who she is, for sure, but I have been digging.  It seems that this isn’t the first sighting of this woman, though it’s certainly the highest profile.”

“What?  How come no one else knows of this?”  Mike asked.

“Some people, the cops and so on, do, I know for sure they do.  However, they don’t go around sharing things like this.”

“Tell me!”  Mike sat up straight in his chair, becoming animated for the first time in days.

“Well hold on now there fellah, this information isn’t free.”

“Oh, yes.  How much?”

There was a pause, and Mike was about to say something when Mr. Fixit finally replied.

“For you, because it is you, I’ll do a deal.  Five hundred, but you tell me what you find.  There’s something really weird going on, and it’s attracted my curiosity, I will admit.”

“How do I pay you?”

“Here.  Go to this website, fill in the boxes.”

“Is that it?”  Mike raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, it’s the modern age.  What did you expect, a drop in the city square at midnight?”

“Very well.”  Mike clicked on the link that appeared at the bottom of the chat screen.”

“Excellent, I’ll email you the details when I get the cash.”  The screen flicked out.

“But you don’t know… my email address,” Mike trailed off.

With some trepidation, he opened the link and followed the instructions for payment.  This may be crazy, but he needed to do something, and he had a feeling…

Payment sent, he say in front of the screen and crossed his hands, waiting.

He sat there for half an hour, and was wondering if he’d been stupid, when there was a ping from his email.   

He opened it up, and then opened up the attached files. 

There wasn’t much there,  but what there was was new to him.  It seemed there had been minor disturbances involving a young woman, who very closely matched the description of his woman, for four or five months previous to his incident.  They had started small, from shoplifting, up to, a week before Mike’s encounter, assault.  Three men had apparently decided to ‘have a bit of fun’ with the woman after having some beers, and had, somehow, come away with fairly serious injuries, including broken bones.

Mike raised an eyebrow. 

There was more, this time with speculation and conjecture included with information taken from police files, and there were also witness statements  Each time the woman disappeared without a trace.

Finally there were some notes that seem to have been pulled together by Mr. Fixit.  He’d had information from some other source, unidentified in the documents, which had given him a rough location of where, for reasons he didn’t go into, he though the woman could be actually found.

Mike’s heart started to race, and he clicked on the map.

The location, marked with a red X was a large building barely five miles from Mike’s former place of employment, in the centre of a medium sized, sleepy, fairly well off suburb.

Eyes wide, Mike clicked the print key, and ran over pull the map off.  He started to pull on his shoes when he stopped short, catching his reflection on the mirror.  A dirty, bedraggled image stared back at him.  This wouldn’t do!  He couldn’t meet Her like this.

Dragging his clothes off he made his way to the bathroom, where he spent a frantic half hour on some much needed personal grooming.

An hour later he was ready.  Dressed in some decent, clean, clothes stolen from his mate’s wardrobe, he stepped out into the daylight.  Blinking in the sun, he unlocked his friend’s bike and began pedalling.

>

“Oh, this can’t be right.” 

It was some time later, and Mike had arrived at his destination.  Panting slightly, he double checked the map.  Nope, this was it.  And it explained why it was a large building.

He was standing in front of  ‘The Holy Mother Synthia’s Puritanical Boarding School for Young Girls, (aged eight to sixteen).’

“What the hell?”  Mike said.

--->


Okay then, so what’s his next move?  How does he infiltrate this target?  Let’s just say the school is open and it’s about 10:30 in the morning on, I don’t know, a Thursday. 

Suggestions and comments welcome!
Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline Angel

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2019, 06:42:32 PM »
hmm. they could be getting out from their daily mass. he collars a nun and idk pretends to be taking a survey or something to try and get some more info. it's awkward and the nun isn't very forthcoming.

Enter Helena's world of light.
 :onfire:
 

Offline newchinaren

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2019, 08:20:44 AM »
Ha!  Like it.  :thumb:
Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline Saint

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #12 on: July 03, 2019, 09:19:55 AM »
He charges in, acting completely crazed and screaming for sanctuary.  Scares as many girls as possible.  If ever there's a way to draw out the darkest and most badass person there, that's it.
:owlfly1:

Want to play DnD?  Check out: The Lost Treasure: A TC DnD Campaign
Don't want to play DnD? That's fine too, here's a short set in the world instead: A Tale of The Darkest Tome
How about helping me build a world From the Ground Up?
 

Offline newchinaren

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #13 on: July 03, 2019, 09:35:08 PM »
Excellent.  Well, I'll put up a poll whilst writing, I hope, another bit of Apocolypto.

Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path
 

Offline Phoenix

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #14 on: July 04, 2019, 02:09:23 PM »
I spotted this in Part III

He’d had information from some other source,
Considering the way the sentence flows after, it might be better writing it this way;
He'd had information from another source,

..or
He'd had information from some other sources


Also,
he though the woman could be actually found.
Is that meant to be 'thought'?

I would thought he would scope the place out a little, get a lay of the land/understanding of the building layout so to speak first. Then he could charge in/ask for answers.
At least then, if he gets caught, people get suspicious he has an escape route of sorts to fall back on.
The survey would be an interesting route to go down, especially as he's been shown to be in the news. Could make the nuns and students a little weary of him, which puts him more on edge.
« Last Edit: July 04, 2019, 02:11:23 PM by Phoenix »
 

Offline newchinaren

Re: The Other One.
« Reply #15 on: July 05, 2019, 06:48:05 PM »
Nice, thanks Pho.  I'll update.  I'm getting a  bit long sighted these days, and tend to miss things. :read:
Stories on Tome:

Apocolypto
The Other One

My Books: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/chinaren

Coming Eventually: The next level:  The Opus Path