Author Topic: Yet to be named.  (Read 487 times)


0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Bxtch

Yet to be named.
« on: September 15, 2018, 01:28:57 AM »
Hiya! This is one of my most recent pieces. It all came about when a friend suggested I write something  "Dark and kidnappy". If something of this nature doesn't belong on Tome City I am totally fine with that and I will try tone the next one down.
Of course, I am open to any critiques or advice.

He felt a pulsing deep in his groin as his dry eyes ran across her thighs. It seemed like he hadn't blinked since she had awoken.

He bought his long yellowing nails to his cheeks and lightly dug them in his skin. He breathed slowly. The room around him began to filter back into focus as his eyes had forced themself to blink. Darkness shrouded the stone walls, the only solice was a single candle he had placed beside the bed.

She bought her hand up to her face. She ran a finger across her dry lips in attempt to asses their damage. On the right side of her bottom lip she felt a deep slit accompanied by warm liquid. She wiped the warm liquid across her lips, craving the moisture. Almost unnoticeable soft tones escaped from her mouth "I don't want to play anymore"

The man watched her hand move to her face. She moved so effortlessly. He loved her hands, he always had. He slipped away for a moment as his mind was flooded with the taste of her fingers and the coldness of her palms. As he came back to reality he saw her feeling her lips. The flame beside her flickered across the blood and light it in the most incredible way. He felt a twinge in his groin again, he carried on watching. As the blood was spread across her lips it took everything he had not to choke her right there and push himself deep inside her throat. He heard her soft statement.

"But you were locked away for so long, surely you miss our little games" his voice was deep and raspy, like he had the constant burn of a rough Bourbon on his throat.

She pulled her hand away from her face and moved her arm across her bare chest, hiding her prepubescent sized breasts. Shamefully She turned her head away from the man and whispered "I was five then."

The man stepped forward to her, close enough so he could touch her. "Well," he reached across her thigh to her crotch "I had better fix this mess so you feel that young again" He shamelessly grabbed a fistful of her pubic hair and began twisting it.

He looked at her face, not blinking again. He watched for her reaction. Nothing came, until she parted her lips. "I suffered much worse in there then you ever put me through". She began laughing as his face dropped. Then the grin formed across his face. Through gritted teeth he snarled "I guess I'll get the screw driver out"

Upon hearing this she attempted to lunge towards him. She didn't care if he ripped half her pubic hair out in the process, she needed to end this.

He released her hair and moved his own hand to his penis. He was hard. Harder than he had been since they took her away. No one else filled the gap she left behind. No girl had the fire she had, the softness, the pure hatred. He spoke to himself "You're not going anywhere". The chains around her legs clattered and her one arm stayed firmly cuffed to the bed.

She began to cry with anger. He couldn't stop himself now, the whore knew that the tears would push him over. He unbuttoned his trousers and let his hard throbbing penis fall into his hand. He held it tight as he moved to her face. 

He grabbed her hair and forced her face towards his penis. He rubbed the tip of his penis around her cheek making sure to get every last tear onto his head. "You make me like this." He said calmly to her. Without hesitation he bought his penis to her mouth and thrust it down her throat. She couldn't pull away. His grip on her hair was too tight. She struggled, to no avail. His penis went deeper down her throat as he plowed short thrusts into her unforgiving mouth. She tried everything from biting to chewing his penis and nothing worked. She knew it wouldn't.  Eventually his warm bitter liquid filled her throat.

He walked swiftly turned, gathering and adjusting himself. Without looking back he climbed the stairs as she choked.
"You fucking disgust me"
He reached the top of the stairs and slammed the door behind him.


Offline Phoenix

Re: Yet to be named.
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2018, 02:31:27 AM »
If something of this nature doesn't belong on Tome City I am totally fine with that and I will try tone the next one down.
There's pretty much a place on here for all writings and ramblings really. Darker, clearly 'adults only' content is sort of placed in a different area (here) though. I guess that's to distinguish it so that the younger readers don't stumble on it by accident.
Placing this in the Ao Alley is fine  :read1:.

Dark and kidnappy definitely fits the theme alright  :pointandlaugh:. I really felt her emotions in this piece, terror and anger at the situation that she was in.
This is really well written :thumb:, and it feels like you've almost built it up to continue. Have you written any more? Or is this a one time piece?

Offline Bxtch

Re: Yet to be named.
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2018, 06:29:16 PM »
Thank you.
So far it is a standalone story. I did want to leave it at a point where I close the scene down but could very easily continue it if I felt inclined.

Offline Phoenix

Re: Yet to be named.
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2018, 07:12:31 PM »
That's quite a good way of looking at it actually. I know I get frustrated when television shows get cancelled on cliff-hangers, but if it feels intentional then it's not that obvious all the time. Then it just builds on the story itself, rather than anything else.  :read1: