Author Topic: The Old Gods  (Read 4293 times)

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Offline NicTei

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The Old Gods
« on: March 23, 2015, 01:08:36 AM »
Another offering some may have seen before, but didn't get posted beyond the first part.  This thread will be for a series of poems I've written based on the same mythology; 'The Old Gods' is more like a collection title than the title of any particular poem (so far).  As always, poetry isn't really my strong suit, so...don't expect much. >.>

Updates every Monday!



Table of Contents:

Land, Sea, and Sky
   Part I:  The Old Gods' Claim - Click Here!
   Part II:  The Old Gods' Pride - Click Here!
   Part III:  The Old Gods' War - Click Here!
   Part IV:  The Old Gods' Fall - Click Here!
   Part V:  The Old Gods' Return - Click Here!

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« Last Edit: April 14, 2015, 07:21:30 AM by NicTei »
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Me Am Robot     |     Night Terrors     |     Sailing the Seven Skies     |     The Old Gods     |     Vagabond

Offline NicTei

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Land, Sea, and Sky - Part I: The Old Gods' Claim
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2015, 01:10:08 AM »
When Earth was young
And Sea was new
And Sky was but a child,
Our infant world
Was roamed and ruled
By three gods, old and wild:
Leviathan,
A wrathful snake,
Claimed water as his own,
Forsook dry land
And heavens above
For a deep-dark home.
The Behemoth was
A prideful beast
And laid his claim on land,
He pushed up peaks
And flattened hills
And filled vast plains with sand.
The last old god,
The great bird Ziz,
The Ruler of the Sky,
Claimed for her home
The heavens above
And hid from mortal eye.

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« Last Edit: March 23, 2015, 06:11:52 PM by NicTei »
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Me Am Robot     |     Night Terrors     |     Sailing the Seven Skies     |     The Old Gods     |     Vagabond

Offline Angel

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2015, 09:37:01 AM »
I think i remember this! Shocker!

i had to re-read out loud to the get the rhythm and love the way it reads. It bounces off the tongue.  :) Can't wait to see more.

Enter Helena's world of light.
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Offline HelenNightengale

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2015, 12:37:10 PM »
Yea, I think I do too.
I agree. I love the way i- in fact. I'm just reiterating exactly what Angel said.

Looking forward to the next one (again) :D
I love how there is still the option for an MSN address...

Offline Phoenix

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2015, 01:24:13 PM »
A great start here Nic :) The first one definitely caught me, it's completely different to what I was expecting but it's also told really well. Will be checking back here to check for more  :D:read:

Offline NicTei

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Land, Sea, and Sky - Part 2: The Old Gods' Pride
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2015, 06:21:54 PM »
From these realms
They waged a war
Of Earth and Sea and Sky
Behemoth, Leviathan,
And fair Ziz
For control did vie.
Leviathan sought
To expand the seas
And swallow up the land;
Curious to see
What Behemoth ruled
With his mighty hand.
The Earth-god proud
Took great offense
At the encroaching waves,
And began his march
On the ocean’s shores
To end the sea-snake’s days.
Fair Ziz, the Queen
Of the high Cloudy Sea,
Cried out with loud lament;
She yearned to stop
Her warring kin,
And so made her descent.



After some deliberation, I've decided on a rough posting schedule for my three currently active threads:  The Old Gods will update every Monday, Night Terrors every Wednesday, and Vagabond every Friday.  Because of how little of Vagabond and The Old Gods I have to post, I'll probably be filling in with an interactive or a few other things I've been working on as needed.

As always, thanks for reading! :)

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Me Am Robot     |     Night Terrors     |     Sailing the Seven Skies     |     The Old Gods     |     Vagabond

Offline HelenNightengale

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2015, 01:45:51 AM »
I really really like these. Keep 'em coming! (every Monday)
I love how there is still the option for an MSN address...

Offline Angel

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2015, 08:10:42 AM »
I think I prefer your first poem to this one. The rhythm felt a bit off on this one. But then again it's been a while since I properly analysed a poem so *shrugs*

Still really enjoying them though. I like the way you're bringing out the story.

Enter Helena's world of light.
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Offline NicTei

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2015, 07:29:15 PM »
The rhythm felt a bit off on this one. But then again it's been a while since I properly analysed a poem so *shrugs*

I don't think it's just you; I noticed it, too, as I was reading through. :panic2:  Ah well; as I've said, poetry is way above my head. >.>

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« Last Edit: June 24, 2015, 08:59:04 AM by NicTei »
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Me Am Robot     |     Night Terrors     |     Sailing the Seven Skies     |     The Old Gods     |     Vagabond

Offline NicTei

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Land, Sea, and Sky - Part 3: The Old Gods' War
« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2015, 08:03:48 AM »
In Chaos born
And Discord grown,
Men and Elves took arms;
Neither sword nor spear
Nor arrow nor stone
Could cause the Old Gods harm.
They suffered loss
And faced their end
On war-fields close and far;
They never despaired
But kept their hope
That they could end the war.
But Behemoth was strong,
And Leviathan swift,
And Ziz could read their hearts;
The land ate them whole,
The currents pulled deep,
And the winds set them apart.
Yet they fought on
With sword and spear
Though knew no ground was gained:
The three Old Gods
Were much too great;
Despair o’er them soon reigned.
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Me Am Robot     |     Night Terrors     |     Sailing the Seven Skies     |     The Old Gods     |     Vagabond

Offline Angel

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #10 on: March 30, 2015, 11:18:50 PM »
I'm currently listening to a dubstep/electronica playlist on 8tracks and this poem fit almost perfectly with [desc=A song called drink the sea by fortune days apparently]the beat of the song I was listening to while I read it.[/desc]

I liked this one a lot actually. The beginning and end parts are the strongest imo, just the middle that is slightly weaker. But then, you're moulding complicated myth into poem form and doing a fine job of it so :shrug:! Really, I'm just being picky. I really like these poems. :2c:

Enter Helena's world of light.
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Offline NicTei

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Land, Sea, and Sky - Part 4: The Old Gods' Fall
« Reply #11 on: April 06, 2015, 10:04:49 PM »
When the hour was dark
And the future bleak
And Death’s black wings unfurled,
A great white light
Shone from the dark
And brought peace to the world:
A humble Maiden
From Elf and Man
Defeated pride and wrath,
And with humility
To guide her steps,
She started down her path.
A song of soothing
She did sing
To Leviathan in the deep
And Behemoth on land
And high-soaring Ziz;
Soon the Three did sleep.
Leviathan sank
To depths as dark
As night devoid of stars,
And his great length
Turned to stone
And formed the ocean’s Scar.
Behemoth dug
Into the land,
Hidden but for his Tusks;
They became
Twin high peaks
With a valley of perpetual dusk.
Ziz grew tired
But would not deign
To go to land to nest.
Instead she settled
On the Tusks
With a bed of clouds to rest.
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Me Am Robot     |     Night Terrors     |     Sailing the Seven Skies     |     The Old Gods     |     Vagabond

Offline Angel

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2015, 11:01:21 PM »
Oooh this one was good! It had a nice regular [desc=I should come to terms with the fact that i'm never going to be able to spell this word.]rhythm[/desc] this time. It tripped off the tongue pretty well and I liked that story with it of the creation of the land etc.

You should be so hard on your poems.

Enter Helena's world of light.
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Offline NicTei

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Land, Sea, and Sky - Part 5: The Old Gods' Return
« Reply #13 on: April 14, 2015, 07:20:26 AM »
The Maiden warned
The Men and Elves
Saved from oblivion
That the Three
Would wake again
When mortal time was done.
Leviathan
Would be the first
To awaken from his sleep,
And with a roar
Of savage power
Would rise up from the deep.
Shaken from
His earth-bound rest,
Behemoth would answer back
Roar for roar,
And blow for blow,
To his brother’s attack.
Ziz, the last
To awake
From her slumber great,
Would loose a cry
Of mournful rage
To see her brothers’ hate.
When those Three rise,
The Maiden warned,
More Men and Elves would die
If they should ever
Forget the song
That brought the beasts to lie.



So that's the final part of Land, Sea, and Sky.  I've started a very tentative revision process, but I'm not making any promises that I'll finish and/or post it.  There are also some other short 'in-universe' poems written using this mythology, though as with the revision, they may not be uploaded; I'm still figuring out what with this thread now that the main poem is finished.  As for the Monday update slot, I may slide Sailing the Seven Skies into the vacancy.  I dunno; we'll see.    That one needs some serious work, too.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed Land. Sea, and Sky, and if there's any interest in the revised version, let me know. :)

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Me Am Robot     |     Night Terrors     |     Sailing the Seven Skies     |     The Old Gods     |     Vagabond

Offline Angel

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2015, 05:16:40 PM »
Ooh a nice conclusion to the myth. I really liked the way you chose to present this lore, it's a really interesting way to do it. :thumb:

Enter Helena's world of light.
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Offline HelenNightengale

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Re: The Old Gods
« Reply #15 on: May 28, 2015, 03:21:35 PM »
Really enjoyed that Nic it was so good.
I love how there is still the option for an MSN address...

 

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